I still feel postictal (hangover after a seizure) so I might keep this entry shorter if I can.
Last night, after visiting my Mom in Beloit for her birthday, Sara and I came home and I made chili. Sara didn't feel good and I know she loves when I make chili, especially in the fall. After dinner, about 7:00pm, I was in the bathroom washing my hands and I noticed that my right hand was going numb. It started out slow and then felt like it was swelling, kind of balloon feeling. I kept looking at it to make sure it didn't look swollen or red... but it looked normal. Then the feeling started to make it's way up my arm. I knew then I had to find the bed and lay there hoping the feeling would pass.
The pain and swelling feeling reached my shoulder and instantly shot up my neck and into my brain... so fast that all I could do is make some gurgling sounds to warn Sara that I was having a seizure. I could feel the "swelling" in my brain like it was going to burst. While this was happening on the outer layer of my brain near the skull, the core of my brain felt like a fist squeezing and squeezing (I'm not self-diagnosing, so a professional will have to interpret what I'm saying). I grabbed onto the edge of the mattress, stiffened my arms and shook my head to the right and left because the pain was so excruciating. Sara ran into the room and started giving me directions to move away from the edge of the bed and she tried to pry my hand from the edge of the mattress. All I could do was hear her and look at her, all the while I was shaking my head in pain. My body was out of my control.
That's all I remember. I regained consciousness laying on my side in bed with the covers over me. She had taken off my shoes, etc. but I don't remember all of that. I asked Sara if I ever passed out (closed my eyes) and she said I was awake with my eyes open for all of it.
I've never been conscious for that long during a seizure of that magnitude. I'll never forget the pain.
I bit my tongue in three places and Sara cleaned the blood off my face, she said it was a "good amount of blood." This happens sometimes but not this bad, I'm having a hard time talking, eating and drinking this morning. I'm afraid to take pain medication because I already have too many drugs in my body and not a lot of food.
That's it for now. I'll write more after I feel "normal".
Monday, October 18, 2010
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