Thursday, December 12, 2013

Everyday Seizure

I've had a seizure everyday this past week, sometimes two. I'd like to say the streak is over but they've been coming at this time of night or just when I'm about to fall asleep.

We've had a lot of stress in our lives lately and that is probably the culprit. It's funny, a seizure. I tried to explain a seizure to Sara's Dad over the holiday and it seemed like an experience one would pay for.

I told him that it starts out like a dizzy sort of dream where objects around me seem to come to life. There are literally voices from my past in my head, memories from my childhood dance from one side of my brain to the other. I can hear my Grandpa talking to my Mom and I can picture watching a movie in front of the TV from when I was young. Modern-style memories can jump in there from time-to-time, but I mostly remember (what I can from when the seizure ends) scenes from being a child.

Then the strong side of the seizure starts. The part when I feel as though the memories are haunting me instead of fluttering around inside. All the faces from my past look directly at my face and I feel them staring inside me and it's quite painful. Once this ends, I shoot back to a psudo-reality where I see Sara with my magnet in-hand, swiping it across my chest every couple seconds and her asking me if I'm ok. I can usually respond with a nod yes or no, but my language is a mess.

No one enjoys a seizure but for a split second I wish that everyone around me could experience the aura side of a seizure so it wouldn't be so hard to interpret.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Stress & Seizures

I've been dealing with a quite a bit of financial stress the last couple months and it has all culminated in the last week or so. I'm on disability for my Epilepsy so we're on an already tight budget and it's horrible that "people" would try to take advantage to someone suffering from an illness. That's all I'll say about that.

I know a thing or two about stress and seizures since that is a major trigger for me. The thing about a stress seizure is they open the door for stronger seizures in the days and even hours following.

I've been very depressed lately, and I feel like Sara and I need a break. By a break, I mean a bit of good luck; luck that most of you would just consider a good day.

This is a short entry, but I feel as though I needed to write, but I'm afraid of saying too much.