Since my first seizure, I've been looking for something that I can attach myself to. A hobby.
I know I have an addictive personality. Before my first seizure I was completely enthralled with photography. I would buy old 35mm cameras, fix the up, and I could wait to get outside to shoot photos. I bought a film scanner so I could share my work online (flickr.com/photos/smithjryan). Eventually I turned that healthy addiction into a career of sorts. I started shooting for the local newspaper. I would get assignments everyday after my job as a graphic design (for which I was also addicted!), and drive around the area shooting youth baseball, social events, etc. I loved it. The problem was as soon as I had my first seizure, my love for photography completely disappeared. The doctors said that pieces of my personality would change and they were right about that... for the good and the bad.
Today, I've been trying to find something to attach myself to. Recently, I started to collect records and I love listening to them, but I find myself just sitting in a chair, staring at the floor while listening. There has to be something I can do that intrigues me while I listen to records. Like right now, I'm writing and there's a record spinning in the background.
Photography was something that could get me out of bed and out of the house. Records can only do that to a point. I can't drive, so it's not like I can drive around looking for records, or work in a record shop. That would be pretty cool now that I think about it!
This blog is a healthy addiction. I write and I feel a lot of the stress of the day kind of wisp away. I also have a pen-pal in the UK that I trade emails with on a semi-daily basis. We talk about our lives and what bothering us. We seem to have pretty similar lives when it comes to Epilepsy. I wish I could communicate that to other Epilepsy sufferers because it's a huge help.
That's all I can really say on the subject of addiction. I know that the word addiction is a heavy word, but it's the only word that I can really think of that describes my situation.
I would appreciate any comments on the subject. Is there anything out there, for those who know me, that would inspire me? I need to find something to do while my records are spinning.
Also, I'm approaching 8,000 views on this blog. Thanks to you all.
Friday, February 20, 2015
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