Fired a Shot in Anger

I'll always consider myself a photographer even if I haven't shot professionally in years. I like to use the term "fired a shot in anger" because I felt so much passion for photography before I started having seizures. Any of the work I've done since has been forced; there is no passion when I pick up a camera.

All day I've been pacing around my apartment holding one of my 35mm cameras trying to get a sense of what it felt like to put the lens to my eye and snap the shutter. It felt right to write about this because all the while I was shooting I knew there was no film in the camera. That's the essence of how I feel about photography.

While pacing, I was thinking about writing and how I could put this into words and really pushing myself to focus, sit down and take a moment to jot down what I've been feeling. I've been moving from chair to chair, looking out every window, trying to think of something other to do than write. Basically, a depressed sort of procrastination.

Below is a link to my flickr page where I keep some of my best work. I like to look at the photos and think about what was going through my head. Composition, color, light... that all comes pretty easy to me, but passion is something that I just can't seem to grasp.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/smithjryan