Ok, I'm back from the rant I had yesterday. I guess I could blame it on pre and post-seizure emotions.
I went on a bike ride today. Probably not as physical exercise, but rather a break from the four walls of our apartment. It was nice, a little muddy, but it helped clear my mind for a couple hours.
Some new developments. I'm now working solely with NW when it comes to my health. This is kind of nice because all of the doctors can talk to each other and use the same computer system, so when there's a diagnosis at this end, the doctors can see it on the other end.
As far as Epilepsy, I was put on a new-ish medication called Sabril. It was on the market for a while, then abruptly taken off because doctors saw that that it could potentially cause peripheral blindness. After a couple years, it's back on the market with a HUGE warning label, and system in place to be sure to catch any blindness that the medication may be occuring. I'm going to NW every three months for an extensive eye exam. To be honest, I could write a hole post on how nervous this medication makes me.
On the good news side of things, I started seeing a new psychiatrist. He's at NW, (my old one was closer to home). He's young, energetic, and full of ideas on how to help. I'm intrigued, but still guarded because, after all, it's still psychiatry... the place I go to dispel my darkest feelings.
On the day I met with the new psychiatrist, Sara was unable to drive me down in the morning, but she was going to be there to join me for the actual appointment. This meant that I was going to have a little adventure for the day!
I put on my best shoes, wore my best coat for the trip and carried all of the necessary documents I would need in my favorite bag, (yes, a man purse). I walked to the train, bought my ticket and waited. Once the train arrived, I enjoyed looking out the window at a vantage point similar to an average, everyday commuter. It was both comfortable and enlightening.
Once I arrived at the station, I hopped in a cab and said, "Northwestern hospital please!" in the most dominate voice I could muster. The cab weaved its way through traffic and dropped me off exactly where I needed to be. I texted Sara, "Here."
I made my way up to the cafeteria... everyone should know that I love their cafeteria. Just awesome. Once, I got my food, I ate and waited for Sara to drive in and meet me where I was sitting. It was then that I thought to myself what a great day I was having. I didn't know how the appointment was going to go, but right in that moment, I felt like I would on my way to work everyday, or driving to my parents house in Wisconsin. I felt free, independent, and strong.
Don't take even the littlest things in your life for granted. The things you loath the most in your life right now could be taken away, and you'll spend the rest of your life hoping for the opportunity to loath them once more.
Friday, May 9, 2014
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