Wednesday, December 17, 2014

For You, Sara

Over 7,500 views. Thank you all.

I want to dedicate this post to my wife Sara. She has been through a lot with me, not just with my Epilepsy, but my growing to the man I am today.

In my wedding vows, I wrote that I fell in love with her twice. Once while we were in college, and the other time was when I lost my memory just after my first couple of seizures. I didn't know her during this time but she was constantly by my side. It wasn't long, just a couple of days of her next to my hospital bed. I remember not knowing her; she was so beautiful. I was even embarrassed a few times in the hospital because I was naked under my gown and I didn't want her to see!

Since my first seizure, she has seen the best and the absolute worst of me, but she's confidently been by my side fighting for me. I needed this because my brain has slowed down quite a bit since having seizures. My memory is shit, and I'm afraid to go out in public without her in case I have a seizure. I feel like she is the only voice that can really interpret my language.

The truth is, Sara, I didn't just fall in love with you twice. I fall in love with you everyday. When you walk in the door, when I get a text from you, or when you call to check up on me. You'll never understand how much my heart beats for you.

I don't know why today, of all days, I decided to write this, but I've been doing a lot of thinking while at home alone. I look around and all I see are memories that we have made. This makes me think of all the memories we'll make in the future.

We're going to beat this, and I'm so grateful that when the dust finally settles, you'll be there for me to embrace. I haven't made your life easy, but I can assure you that I will make your life meaningful. Our story will be remembered, but before that all happens, I want you to know that you've made my life worth living.

When I see you tonight, I'll fall in love with you again. I promise.

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