Monday, May 17, 2010


Let me explain why I named this blog "Management".

The word, for me, is a strong one. It's been a big part of my life. We manage our schedules around doctor appointments that have now broken into my vacation days at work, doses of medicine and exact times on which I should take them, the half a dozen side-effects of the medication (cross-eye feeling, rash, hair loss, kidney stones, psych probs), car pooling, average of 1-2 seizures a week....

But, I'm sure people with kids or with really busy lives could rattle off much more stressful things that they deal with on a daily basis.


I'm managing. When I think about where my life is right now there are a lot of doors that are closed. I'm not looking for a pity party but now I'm basically writing for myself. Imagine not knowing minute by minute if you'll still be conscious. There's a depression very low in me. They say it's "common in Epilepsy patients" and "please see a psychiatrist" or "more medication could help". Describing how I feel a million times to a psychiatrist is not going to make me better and one more pill added to the five I take now is not an option. When I say "I'm managing" I'm saying this with my head up but with a shaky voice.

I have a strong will. My brain is broken, but my heart is definitely strong.

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