Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Be Positive

I thought I would take today's entry to be positive. I haven't had any problems since being on this new medicine (a big knock on wood) and there have been no real side effects. I mean that in the way of dizziness all the way to serious depression.

I have a doctors appointment on the 12th of July and hopefully I haven't had any problems because I'm going to take that time to finally ask him if I can drive. It's been so hard having Sara cart me around. Even if I get to drive just to work it would be a real boost to my ego. The freedom of just being able to drive is something people take for granted. If I look for a new job it has to be on the train line or within Sara's route... that kind of thing. It really puts a damper on my possibilities.

I know this blog can be drab and depressing most of the time but it's a place for me to release. The problem with us is we get no news... not bad or good... none. The doctors are still working out what's happening in my head and mixing the right chemicals to combat the disorder. It's frustrating and it seems for every one step forward we take two steps back, a cliché I know. It's tough to be positive when it seems like you have nothing going your way. My brain, driving, job, money, city. I'm getting married, that's a big positive. It's added stress but it's not the day that matters, it's vow I'll make to Sara that no matter how broken I may be, I'll love her. It's her vow that she'll be with me, by my side, in sickness and in health.

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