Routine

I've been surrounded by the word "Routine." While in Milwaukee for several weeks I learned that those around me were able to stick very closely to a schedule, sometimes very strict. After a week or so, my own routine was formed and I was able to abide by times, places, food, stress and relaxation. I made sure to wake up and get to bed alone without Sara's guidance (big step, actually).

After my "temp" stay in Milwaukee ended last week, it was a shock to my system or "routine." I've come to understand that, with Epilepsy, I have to ease into and out of things slowly as to not upset my body's equilibrium. When I returned home to await my temp-to-hire status, I again applied for unemployment and was, again, at home during the days. Basically, giving my body a shock from a very regimented schedule to a loose set of tasks that were set throughout the week.

I did visit friends and helped one of them move to a new place, but the stress level was low and I was doing far more physical activity than I would normally do in a week's time. This shocked my system and I've had three Aura's (a warning sign that I'm about to have a seizure) since I've been home. They were ALL controlled perfectly by my VNS implant, but I did have to take an emergency medication called Ativan, and lay down for an hour or so while the postictal (seizure hangover) subsided.

This is a small blow, but one I can handle. I started thinking about how others deal with a disrupted routine.

Imagine a man who walks his dog every night so he can have a cigarette to relax from the stress of the day, or a young woman who loves to wake up to jog while the morning air is still cool. If either of these routines are disrupted it could very well effect their mood, work performance, or overall sense of how they choose to use their time.

Even a routine of stress can cause a person to feel displaced if, all of the sudden, the stress is relieved for a period of time. There's a certain anxiety that comes with not knowing what kind of new stress is going to surface.

I guess that's where I am now; trying to bide my time while waiting for the next step to become clear.