Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Stimulation and Epilepsy

I've been thinking about this post for a while and I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on the subject of over vs. under stimulation in regards to my struggle with Epilepsy.

Over stimulation is exactly how it sounds; watching the news, too much TV, a very intense book, a crowded restaurant, meeting several new people all at one time... the list can go on. Under stimulation can be the exact opposite from the situations I just listed or they can be from the same list only repeated over and over to the point that they become somewhat of a routine and boring.

With me, over stimulation can lead to seizures, anxiety, and in the past, violent behavior could've made the list (although I have to admit that I still do have these feelings but I am much better at diffusing this sort of energy.)

Under stimulation on the other hand leads to depression, which in turn, can also lead to anxiety and, yes, seizures. I can stare at a wall for 20 minutes before realizing where I am and what I was doing. I'm lethargic, and passive.

My goal as a Epilepsy patient is to find a healthy balance, but with the constant storm of emotion lingering over me, different mixes of medications and treatments, it's very difficult not to sway in one direction or another.

I've been writing more, riding my bike on the trail next to our apartment, and helping Sara at her museum every once and a while, but that still leaves a big chunk of time where I'm sitting, just breathing and letting my mind wander aimlessly.

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