To My Mom

Mom, let me first start this post by telling you that I love you. You've seen the absolute worst of me and the absolute best of me. I'm your son, your first born child, and I want you to know that I haven't, and will never forget that.

When I first started having seizures, it must've been unbearable to watch one of your children go through so much pain. Pain, unfortunately, I still feel to this day. The seizures haven't stopped and neither has your strength of mind in knowing that someday this thing will be beaten.

I watch Avery, your first grandchild, my niece, and I think about how I was once that small; needing your constant attention and love. You showered my with both. I had a great childhood, and I think your daughters would also agree.

To see little Avery as myself, and to foresee the path I would have to walk as a person living with epilepsy... it's a thought too difficult to grasp. Especially as a parent, I'm sure.

Our relationship is strained, I know. The last couple years have been hard, but you're my Mom. The only Mom I want or will ever have. We both have our tremendous flaws, as all people do, but I hope that in the coming months, and days like today, we can move forward and focus on the very best of what we see in each other.

I'll do a better job letting you know how my weeks are going; seizures, doctor appointments, or just the general stress of living the life I lead. I know you'll offer me love, support, and advice... all things that a child looks for in a parent. 

I love you, Mom. Merry Christmas.